Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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