I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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