i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize