You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
