I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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