We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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