Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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