I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
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