Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
