i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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