My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
