so that wasnt chicken after all
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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