well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize