My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
