Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
