Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
