she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
