how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
