I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Randomize
