Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
