Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
