I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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