He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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