Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
