Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
