Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
