you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
