they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
