he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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