Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
