Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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