i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He felt like a one man threesome
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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