She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
