You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
