There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize