All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
