so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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