I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
