Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
