And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
