At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
