Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just forgot I was standing up.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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