My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
