Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
