He kissed a someone with a penis
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
