He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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