I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize