found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
