Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize