i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
