ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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