a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
