he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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