And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
