idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
