Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
high people should be assigned attendants
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
