someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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