just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
