I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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