I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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