Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
PANTIES FOUND
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