coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
