i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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