You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
