Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
