Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
