That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
