I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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