if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize